


Bright Star! Would I Were As Steadfast As Thou Art

by TheGoodDoctor



Category: Yonderland (TV)
Genre: 5+1, F/M, Happy Ending, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 09:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11033283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoodDoctor/pseuds/TheGoodDoctor
Summary: 5+1: we were never alone/we were





	Bright Star! Would I Were As Steadfast As Thou Art

_1._

Vex is going to have to do something scary, which he doesn’t really want to do. He knows he is going to have to do it, because he’s already spent about three hours trying to come up with excuses for not doing it, and a further hour trying to think of people he could persuade to do it for him.

He takes a deep breath, glaring at his reflection in an effort to imbue confidence into it. Perhaps it works, because any confidence he had had is now gone and Vex scowls at the mirror version of himself who stole his spine.

His hat is crooked on his head, so he spends at least five minutes minutely adjusting the angle, huffing at his gravity-defying curls. When this is completed to his satisfaction, he turns to his ruff, shirt, robes, and shoes, spending so long fussing over them that when he returns to his reflection he sighs. His attempts having only made any wardrobe malfunctions worse, he tears off the offending items and gets back into bed.

“Vex?” a muffled voice says, accompanying a knock at the door. Vex sits up suddenly, flailing his arms in an effort to get up but only succeeding in tangling his legs in his blanket, overbalancing and falling out of bed with a thump. “Are you okay?” the voice says again, concerned but slightly amused.

Vex lets his head fall back onto the floor and sighs. “Yes, Ho-Tan, I’m fine. How are you?”

Ho-Tan giggles. “Perfect,” she sings back and Vex squeezes his eyes shut.

It occurs to him then that she’s left him an opening - a brilliant opening - to do The Thing, and also sound smooth and casual; a rarity for Elders. He grins to himself, opens his mouth and is cut off.

“Vex! Get out of bed!” Choop bellows. “The Chosen One is almost here!”

The Wise Elder loses his grin at light speed. “I am out of bed,” he says, honest and grumpy, as he detangles his legs from the blanket and gets up.

Choop’s voice becomes more distant as he wanders off, not having waited for an answer, and Vex groans loudly and emphatically, scrubbing his hands up and down his face.

“Uh, Vex? Are you actually okay?” Ho-Tan says, amusement lost to pure concern.

Vex starts, having forgotten that Ho-Tan would hear him complain. Unfortunately, Vex is known for being clumsy first thing in the morning, and his surprise makes him kick his wardrobe, stub his toe and fall over, cursing.

“Vex!?” Ho-Tan says again, worried. “I’m coming in.”

Through the pain, Vex remembers the reason that his robes are currently spread all over his floor. He makes a strangled noise and tugs the rug beside him up to cover himself.

The door opens and Ho-Tan gazes down upon the scene of destruction with which she is faced. There are clothes spread all over the floor, his bedding is trailing off the bed, and his blanket is failing to entirely cover the sherry stain in the middle of the room which had been covered by a rug. Her attention is mostly occupied with Vex, however, whose head and feet are the only things sticking out of the rug burrito he has accidentally made of himself. He looks embarrassed, pained, and entirely daft.

Ho-Tan smiles softly down at him, and he can’t help but return it. “I’ll leave you to it, shall I?” she teases gently and he huffs a laugh at how he imagines he must look.

“Make excuses for my lateness? Please?” Vex begs. Ho-Tan nods happily. “But make them nothing like the truth.”

Ho-Tan pretends to be disappointed to make him laugh and closes the door behind her. Vex lets his head relax against the floor and sighs, grinning and feeling oddly that his many failures this morning had been worth it, if only to see her smile.

* * *

_2._

Clearly, Vex is going to have to be more crafty. Unfortunately, this is not something for which he is particularly famed.

He can’t get The Thing out of his mind, near-constantly plotting and panicking. He _has_ to tell her. Even if it potentially ruins everything. Even if-

“Vex? Is there something on my face?” Ho-Tan is looking curiously at him, a faint blush rising on her cheeks and a hand shielding part of her face cautiously.

Vex smiles, a little forced. “Not at all, my dear, I was just...thinking.”

She nods and smiles, turning back to her notes. Choop picks up the thread of his remarks as if there had been no interruption and Vex closes his eyes, sighing softly through his nose in irritation. He has got to stop staring at her. Especially since he opens his eyes to Flowers raising his eyebrows suggestively. Vex narrows his eyes at him, attempting to silently communicate denial and dismissal of such childishness.

He’s not sure that either were particularly convincing. 

* * *

_3._

Vex sort of hates Debbie right now. She and Ho-Tan are laughing and trading make-up secrets, using words and phrases which pass him entirely by. He feels left out, and more than a little bit jealous of The Chosen One for monopolising his best friend’s attention. This was _supposed_ to be his moment.

They were _supposed_ to be alone.

Debbie says something which Vex supposes must have been funny - he’d tuned out long ago, choosing instead to scowl at the floor and follow the women in moody silence - and Ho-Tan dissolves into inelegant giggles and snorts. Vex sighs softly, gazing wistfully at her. She is so beautiful, so wonderful, so perfect, and he _has_ to tell her.

Debbie grins over her shoulder at him like they have a secret, and Vex pulls a face back, pretending that they don’t. “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt,” she says, smiling.

“I don’t know what any of that is,” Vex replies sulkily.

Debbie rolls her eyes. “You know what denial is, surely.”

“No, I don’t,” Vex says automatically, then narrows his eyes at the other two after realising his mistake and setting them off into peals of laughter.

“Oh, Vex, you are funny,” Ho-Tan says, and he resists the urge to preen.

Judging by the look Debbie is aiming at him and he is steadfastly ignoring, he may not have been entirely successful.

Vex sort of hates Debbie right now. More than that, though, he sort of hates himself for losing his courage and forcing Debbie to come on the walk he’d intended to make with Ho-Tan alone.

He scowls. Being responsible is bringing him no joy. 

* * *

_4._

He’s fairly sure he can’t be blamed for this one, though. Well, he could have avoided the taverns where Pressley drinks, but that’s every tavern remotely near the chambers, and would make it hard to ask her out for drinks.

Vex and Ho-Tan gaze down upon the snoring Elder, folded unceremoniously into his bed, and catch their breath. He turns to her and she offers him a rueful grin. Vex’s heart stutters and he hurriedly looks back at Pressley, frowning and letting out a heavy sigh. Somehow, carrying their drunken comrade back to his quarters didn’t seem like the romantic middle to a romantic night which would end (romantically, Vex thinks) with his confession.

Ho-Tan doesn’t seem to think so either. She pats him on the arm and whispers “Maybe next time,” vanishing before he can figure out what that means.

* * *

_5._

Heavens above, but she is beautiful.

The moonlight is shining down upon them both, glinting off her teeth as Ho-Tan bares them, laughing at one of his jokes, and putting silver swirls in her eyes. Vex has always liked her eyes, and the way they show her mood, and the way he can read them.

Still laughing in a way that makes his tummy twist, she rolls over onto her back to gaze up through the hole in the roof of the Chambers. Vex is tempted to follow her gaze, but would rather just watch her watch the skies. He drinks in this moment, greedily absorbing details and committing them to memory, to be later enjoyed again and again. Vex wants to treasure her smile and her hair and her eyes for ever and ever.

Ho-Tan points up at the skies, tracing the lines of a constellation with a beautifully-painted fingernail in the same blue as her Elder’s robe. “Look, up there.” Vex obeys, dragging his attention from her to the heavens beyond. “Those stars have been there for longer than anything else we’ve ever seen. They stay the same for years and years and are always so beautiful.” She tilts her head to smile gently at him. “Thank you for this, Vex. I forget how much I love the stars.”

 _I can never forget how much I love you,_ Vex thinks, but he cannot quite say it. Offering her a weak smile, he looks back up at the sky and squeezes his eyes shut against the prickly onslaught of tears. This moment is perfect and beautiful, she is perfect and beautiful, and he cannot ruin it with foolish declarations of _love._ Telling her things which she does not want to hear would only spoil things. He is not about to lose his best friend to an ill-judged confession.

This is better. Safer.

He had been going to tell her when they were alone, but with doubt one is never alone. 

* * *

_+1._

He is sitting on her bed, soft hand in hers, confession no longer hanging like the sword of Damocles above his head but pushed away to hide in the depths of himself. She is humming softly as she paints his nails a soft pastel pink to match his brocade sleeves. He is still so very, deeply in love with her.

Soft mid-morning light tumbles through her window to rest like silk upon her floor as dust motes dance in the swathe of gold. Vex watches them float and tumble, holding himself so carefully still to avoid ruining Ho-Tan’s careful work or somehow revealing the emotions which thrum beneath the surface of his skin.

He looks up at her, then, seeing the golden beams of light turn her thick hair to a shimmering curtain, the way the light plays across her face as she tosses her hair back with a flick of her head, the way she is so perfectly framed in the light from the window. Vex is blown away by the feeling of looking at a painting; one of a goddess in a quiet moment, divinity flowing from her as natural as breathing, illuminating and improving simply by virtue of being present, and how, in that moment, could he not love her? Not to do so is unthinkable. His throat goes dry, but he can do nothing but live in this moment, but gaze at her, but love her.

Ho-Tan looks up at him, amused confusion evident on her face and in the dancing of her eyes, but he merely continues to look upon her face in the sunshine. She smiles then, and he is helpless but to return it.

“Your nails are almost done,” she says, running a few final strokes across the nail of his thumb, and he wishes that they weren’t and that he could stay here forever in this blissful torment, this sweet unrest, holding her hand. Ho-Tan smiles up at him as if reading his mind and carefully tangles their fingers, wary of his nails and charitably ignoring his gasp. “I love you, you know,” she says, matter-of-factly, and the part of his mind which hasn’t gone entirely blank has Vex seething with jealousy at how she says it, so fast and so easy. Her smile widens at his lack of response and stunned expression.

That does it. He surges forward, one hand entangled in hers and the other coming up to gently cradle the back of her neck, and presses his lips to hers. Ho-Tan gasps then, and he smiles against her lips in triumph and sheer, unadulterated, perfect _joy._

**Author's Note:**

> Some intertextuality for you: Bright Star, John Keats; The End of the Movie, Stornoway; How Could I Not?, Tom Rosenthal.


End file.
